by Sarah Chevallier
Label: Holden Caulfield generation: 19 career: “Jobs” are actually for phonies that “care” about phony things like “bills” and “food” About Holden: Only selecting informal matchmaking, because everyone’s a phony with the exception of me personally (clearly). Sidebar, I’m definitely not entirely sure that “phony” implies the thing I believe it is meaning.
Term: Heathcliff Age: Essentially not a clue. Profession: Mergers (in my enemies’ family members) and acquisitions (of their money and glee). About Heathcliff: put a very long time developing that #RevengeBody and #RevengeWealth shaadi reddit, nevertheless now I’m looking a fantastic, naive woman to pay down with, ultimately one that merely happens to be related to simple foe, just who likewise merely is actually partnered to my personal childhood friend. You already know, for standard, totally certainly not nefarious rationale.
Term: Odysseus generation: 38 Occupation: master of Ithaca who’s going to be 100% without having a midlife emergency About Odysseus: I’m relating to that wanderlust lives: it’s concerning journey, definitely not the getaway, you realize? Particularly if the resort is filled with “responsibilities” like “governance,” “parenthood,” and “marriage to someone who is certainly smarter than me personally as she evades offered like intimate chattel for a decade while I doof around banging haphazard witches and blinding one-eyed leaders.” Enroll with me on journey, newly born baby.
Identity: Edward Rochester Years: 43 Job: Prosperous widower. Yep, the outdated golf ball and sequence was dead. Sincere dead. Not just presently in my basement are constrained with a true baseball and cycle. About Edward: trying to find a younger lady who will blunder the brooding styles and condescending misanthropy for destructive torment, and essentially likes employer-employee roleplay. Extra if she enjoys teens not plenty of that she’s put off by exactly how mean i will be to my own followed girl.
Label: winner Frankenstein years: 34 career: physician, researcher About winner: wanting someone which offers the interest for the mysteries of lifetime but would also become awake for a continual pursuit to capture and eliminate simple earlier roommate from the days during the institution of Ingolstadt. Sense of venture is crucial, because we all put for your North Pole next week.
Title: Jay Gatsby get older: what age are you looking us to feel lol job: Influencer, Renaissance dude About Jay: I’m weirdly just like your ex lover, but like a fabulously rich and mystical form of him or her that you’d do not have dumped with no GODDAMN CAUSE to start with, Daisy.
Identify: Rodion Raskolnikov era: 21 Occupation: scholar, Extraordinary boy that theoretically it would be completely ok if the man only killed an old time girl, because i am talking about, he’s incredible, nevertheless you understand, simply on paper make sure you don’t phone call which means that policeman exactly who keeps snooping in. About Rodion: I’m only a better-than-regular man searching for a virtually angelically close female with a tragic tale who can with no justification dedicate herself to the collection and it is really into playing myself reciting my half-baked school of thought 101 “theories.”
List: Jake Barnes era: 31 profession: Expat, alcoholic About Jake: extra manly. Certainly, absolutely, not at all impotent. Actually into day fishing and worrying in the enchanting and intimate choices of a lady who’s entirely just somebody (nevertheless see, most certainly not an equal who’s able to make her very own selection, because of that damn ladybrain). Most of all: definitely not Jewish.
Term: Hamlet era: 26 career: upcoming King of Denmark About Hamlet: children try every thing in my opinion. Such as, I won’t relax until we grab my loved ones, associates, as well as actually your country aside based on a discussion I experienced in my dad’s soul about it’s SO GROSS that mommy and Uncle C are doing it, and he concurred it’s absolutely normal that I’m thus concentrated on my mother’s sex-life. My own last girl isn’t that recognition, thus I’m wanting someone that will supporting myself in this difficult time and will never bring a fucking cow each time we thrust this lady father and vocally abuse the lady.